#4 You Don't Know How All-Way Stops Work

I'm sitting at the corner, looking at that big red octagon that with white letters on it and the smaller rectangle underneath with even more letters, waiting my turn with low-level impatience and irritation, as that's about the closest I get to calm.  The cars to my left and to my right at the intersection go through, and it's my turn.  I start to go straight, but then YOU FOLLOW THE CAR THAT CAME FROM MY RIGHT STRAIGHT THROUGH THE INTERSECTION, forcing me to pile on my brakes to avoid t-boning you.  Not because I care about destroying your car, but because I'd feel compelled to jump out and set the whole pile on fire and as it'd be shaped kind of like a cross, people might think I was racist - I hate everyone equally.

What the fuck is wrong with you people?  All way stops are pretty fucking simple, and if you'd stop fucking it up, they'd be a moderately efficient and effective means of controlling traffic.

There's really only a few things to keep in mind about all way stop intersections (some of this shit gets a little bananas when more than 4 sections of road meet, but that's fairly uncommon, I think).

1. Emergency vehicles have the right of way.  No exceptions.  I almost didn't state this one, then I remembered that my dog's shit is smarter than the average driver.  Emergency vehicles always win.  Stop sign, stop light, middle of freeway.  The fact that you don't know this is most of why whatever deity you do or don't believe in hates you as much as I do.

2. First come, first serve.  Simple.  You get there first, you go first. That means if you pull up to the stop, and someone is approaching from another direction and is still a block away, YOU CAN GO.  Don't sit there and wait for them to stop while traffic piles up behind you, asshat.

3. In the event that multiple vehicles arrive simultaneously (more or less, don't be a dick about you getting there a millisecond earlier, asshole), the right most vehicle has right of way.  Don't understand this?  Stop driving.  But since you're not going to listen to that, do this to figure it out: When you pull up to the stop at the same time as someone else, look to your right (that means out your passenger window).  Is there a vehicle there?  If not, you are the right-most vehicle.  If the person who got there at the same time as you is directly across from you, yield to them if you are turning left, as they are the right-most vehicle as well in most circumstances.

4. If FOUR vehicles arrive simultaneously, yield the right of way first to:
i. Vehicles turning right.
ii. Vehicles going straight.
iii. Vehicles turning left.
Don't forget to go when it's your turn.  Don't be that retard who sits at the intersection while a half dozen cars cross in front of them.  Keep in mind that I don't think this point is actually a law (1-3 are), it's just common sense, something you don't have, so just trust me on this one.

That's about it.  I was going to come up with some scenarios, I even thought of drawing pictures, but then I thought I might get in trouble for filling my blog up with diagrams of cars full of actual cocks instead of people.

I hate you,
- The Angriest Man